Loss

Moon Phase: Waxing
Retrogrades: Uranus

Today is the first anniversary of my grandmother’s death. She was in her 90’s, had suffered from a long and debilitating illness, and it was time for her to go. That didn’t make it any easier — she was the glue for many things, and, in spite of all the comforts of “moving on” and “she’ll always be with you”, it’s not the same as being able to pick u the phone and talk to her or drive up to visit. It’s still painful, almost every day.

That’s not to say that our relationship was all sunshine and roses. Quite the contrary — it was tempestuous, to say the least. She disagreed that my decisions differed from hers. Her decisions included going straight from family to marriage to moving in with her brother to “do for” him after they were both widowed. She was a brilliant artist who always put her art last and “sacrificed” for everyone else, especially men. She was exceptionally strong and talented, but believed that a woman’s job was to seem subservient, even though she was the one actually doing all the work.

I made a decision early in life that my writing would be a priority, and anyone who expected to retain a permanent part of my life had to deal with that. Yes, I sometimes put my own plans on hold to be a “helpmeet”. I quickly found out that was not the path for me, and I was not willing to keep pushing my own work to the back in order to help/promote/support the work of someone else’s to the exclusion of my work. I wanted an equal partnership, not a constant battle for control, and I was certainly NOT going to take the traditional “woman’s” role.

We frustrated each other, because my grandmother believed my choices were “wrong” and I believed she’d sacrificed her talent for people who weren’t as talented as she was. We learned from each other what did not work for us.

We were on the same page, literally and figuratively, when it came to books and a love of reading. She had an entire wall of books in her dining room, floor to ceiling. An architect had to build support posts in the basement so the floor didn’t sag. It was in her bookcases where I first became enamored of Dickens, Austin, and Poe, and where I got my first exposure to authors like Daphne du Maurier and Somerset Maugham. When, many years later, I travelled to Cornwall and took photos of many du Maurier haunts, including Lantaglos Church, only 1/4 of a mile from my rented farmhouse, where du Maurier was married, my grandmother delighted in living the trip vicariously through me. Neither of us were whiners, and we shared contempt for those who whined. Something needs to be done, you go and do it without a fuss. We also shared a love of travel and a curiosity about the world.

She was far more gregarious than I am, comfortable in any social situation. She once travelled to Europe with my mother, visiting family land friends in countries where she couldn’t speak the language. She’d go out to parties until 2 AM and find ways to communicate when my mother went to bed early, exhausted.

She was an extraordinary woman who chose to always put herself last, and then got frustrated when people took it for granted. She could be harsh, judgmental, and yet, if you were in trouble, she’d fight like a bear to help you out.

I learned a lot from her on many levels. I miss her and salute her.

Tapped on the Shoulder

Moon Phase: New
Retrogrades: Uranus

Many of us who walk this spiritual path have patron goddesses/spirits/saints with whom we work. We develop relationships over the years. Sometimes we drift away from one, only to return. Sometimes our work with one is done, and another chooses us. There’s a great deal of debate as to whether one can or should mix pantheons; what I’ve discovered is that, when you get a tap on the shoulder, you need to pay attention, no matter what the pantheon. In other words, yes, I mix pantheons, but it’s more “that’s the way it worked for me” than something I set out to do.

When I was first studying the path, I wanted to work with a very particular, strong, warrior-type goddess. Unfortunately, she let me know, in no uncertain terms, that I wasn’t ready. I sulked, I pouted, I raged, but that’s the way it was. There were other guiding spirits with whom I developed close relationships that have deepened over the years.

A few months ago, working through a rough patch that involved a lot of conflict and something where I had to be strong, reasoned, and, at times, extremely aggressive with a take-no-prisoners attitude. I fretted, having a few minutes of the whole “why me”? experience.

“Ahem.” It was an almost audible cough. But, as I sat there, contemplating the situation and how I had to respond (because gentleness, kindness, and diplomacy had only escalated the situation), I realized that the goddess with whom I’d wanted to work so many years ago was very much a presence in the current situation. A guiding force, so to speak. I’d gotten what I wanted – -just not in the way I expected! I had to laugh at the irony of it, and was also grateful.

And yes, I’m still working with her. I haven’t lost any of the others, but my spiritual tribe is expanding.

Last week, I stopped on a whim at a library sale. I’m a bibliophile, borderline bibliomaniac. I adore books, libraries, bookstores, all of that. Always have. I was working on a story set in 1898. I happened to pick up a large, hardcover biography for 50 cents, simply because it sounded interesting. I got home and started reading. Not only was it well-written and parts of it relevant to my short story, it was also relevant to three other WIPs. Talk about luck — and a tap on the shoulder from Seshat, the goddess of libraries and scribes.

I’m in the process of gathering images and objects to build an altar to Seshat — on top of a bookcase. She’s been guiding me quietly from the background for a long time. Now she’s stepped forward and asked for recognition. I shan’t refuse her.

Daily Chakra Cleansing

Here’s an exercise to help you if you feel out of sorts, or to help keep you sorted. It takes about ten minutes or less. I usually do it after I finish my morning yoga, but before I do my meditation sit.

Cast an informal circle just large enough to contain you. (By “informal”, I mean you’re casting it while sitting, not walking the circle three times or calling in the directions).

Starting at the top of your head, open each chakra, one by one. When you reach the bottom take a deep breath, and work your way back up doing the following:

Starting with the root chakra, at the base of your spine, imagine a swirl of red light moving through it, cleaning it. When it feels clean and bright, disperse the light, and close the chakra. Move up to the next chakra, do the same thing, but this time with orange light. Work your way up, chakra by chakra (third=yellow, fourth=green, fifth=lapis, sixth=indigo, seventh=violet or white, depending on your practice).

Clean and balance each chakra with its corresponding light, and, once it’s clean and the light dissipated, it’s very important to close it. You don’t want to wander around with open chakras. You’ll make yourself sick.

Once all the chakras are clean and closed, take a minute to let white line run through them, from the crown to the root, and make sure everything feels centered and aligned. Ground, take down your circle, and you’re ready to meet the day from a much stronger perspective.

Anytime you feel out of sorts during the day, find a place where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes and either run through the whole line of chakras, or just open and clean the one feeling the most out of whack. Cleansing when you feel good helps build strength for the more difficult days.

Flexibility

Flexibility

I thought I had Samhain all planned out — big ritual as the launch of a year’s worth of Gaia-focused rituals. It seemed perfect timing, especially since our landlords slaughtered all the gorgeous, mature trees on the property.

And then, friends took ill. Very, very ill. So the ritual had to be re-fashioned, the day it was to take place, with the focus on healing.

One could argue that the original ritual had to do with healing as well, the healing of the desecrated land, and that the desecration of land is connected to illness. All of that is true. But the focus of the ritual shifted to dealing with the practicalities of physical illness in humans.

Was I angry? Did I resent having to change the ritual at the last minute? Five years ago, the answer would have been a resounding ‘yes.” This time, it was a clear “no.” You do what needs to be done WHEN it needs to be done, not when it’s convenient to do it.

Did I see the connection between illness in people and illness n the land and feed one into the other? Yes. Do I feel that it strengthened the ritual? Yes, because it reconnected to the land, and that’s part of what we do.

Did it mean long hours on an already over-scheduled week, rewriting, running out to buy last minute items, re-configuring? Of course. But it was worth it.

Had I stuck to the originally planned ritual, it would have felt wrong, and lost potency. Had I limited myself to simply switching rituals, I would have felt that I short-shifted the land on which I live for people who are far away, in spite of my connection. By finding connections between the two and seeing how they could support each other, I was able to create a ritual that served both needs and was stronger for so doing.

The reminder in this is that we live in a web, not on a linear path. When we lift our heads from what is directly before us, look around, and see how it connects and is interdependent, we learn to integrate different facets of our life to create a stronger and more unified whole.

Careful Notation

How often have you created something — either in ritual or messing around with herbs and oils — where you’ve been delighted with the result, but could never re-create it because you never wrote it down?

Keeping good notes will help you keep track of your work, your progress, and help you develop your recipes. Getting into the habit of taking good notes is one of the hardest habits to develop, even if you’re a meticulous diarist.

Part of that, in my opinion, is that so many of the books that offer guidance into the creation process have such an intricate system of planning and note-taking BEFORE your actual ritual or recipe starts that you’re so exhausted from the preparatory notes that you never get any farther.

Whether it’s a ritual or a recipe, there’s a much easier starting point:

Purpose and Correspondences.

Yes, that’s it. Know your purpose. Jot it down. Find correspondences that fit your purpose. Jot them down.

If you’re creating a ritual, you can then slot the purpose and the correspondences in to the way you work. That’s why it’s called a “ritual” — it’s a series of specific actions in a specific order. You have a set way of working — a template, so to speak. Each ritual is individualized to serve its specific purpose within that template. It doesn’t have to be twelve pages long and contain 96 steps. Simple and focused tends to get better results than pretentious and meandering.

The other thing to remember after the ritual is over, you’ve cleaned up and you’ve thought about it for a bit, is to write down your experience of the ritual, what you feel did and did not work, changes that happened organically within the ritual, and, overall impressions. That helps you in the future — if you do a particular sequence from ritual to ritual and it doesn’t feel right or doesn’t work or you can never remember it, you can see that pattern over time and make decisions to change it to something that works better, and brings you more in sync in your communications with the Divine.

If you’re creating a recipe, notating as you work is very important, the same way it would be if you were developing a new recipe for bread dough or a cake or whatever.

Write down each ingredient as you add it.

Note how you mix it in — clockwise, counterclockwise, if you use a specific number of strokes.

Note how it smells or any other sensory details.

Then note any changes you make — do you add a little more of this, find it’s too much, so you have to adjust with a little more of that?

It’s a good idea to make a clean copy of a successful recipe, but don’t throw out the notes that set out the process for getting there. You learn from the process just as much as you learn from the finished product. There will be times when the ratios from an earlier version of the recipe-in-progress will be useful in the creation of another recipe.

And, within a couple of hours, the details of the process will flee, so the sooner you wrote them down, the sooner you can refer to them in the future and save yourself time, energy and frustration.

Take it from one who learned the hard way!

Fashioning Ritual

This is my busiest time of year — not that I’m complaining. I usually teach at a conference in mid-October. Often, I’m prepping for Nano (although I’m skipping it this year due to deadlines). And we’re getting close to Samhain, which means ritual and more tarot readings than usual.

I’m doing different rituals with different intents for a variety of clients, as well as creating the ritual for Cerridwen Cottage’s Rituals for Gaia, which will be a posted series of sabbat rituals for the coming year. And, I’m working on my personal rituals for the year, which include the days of Tending the Dead and the Ceremony for the Ancestors. (If you want more information on the way I Tend the Dead, please click here).

It’s a unique challenge to work on different rituals simultaneously. Usually, I have plenty of time to create a ritual, perform it with the client, , rest up, move on to the next. But, this year in particular, I’ve ended up with more ritual bookings around Samhain. Since the individuals are different, the ritual is different.

Each individual’s needs and intents are taken into account, and the unique ritual is fashioned with that in mind. The use of pantheon, guardian, etc. is factored in; the supplies necessary; how many will participate. While seasonal rituals with similar intents can contain similar elements, using too much of a boilerplate dilutes the impact of the ritual. So every ritual has to be fashioned carefully and uniquely.

This year, they have to happen simultaneously.

How does one do that? My way is only one way; I don’t want to pretend it’s “the” way. I take notes when the client and I talk about the ritual. I make sure I know patron, pantheon, comfort level with ritual work, experience with ritual work, and any allergies, which is just as important as need and intent. If you’re using incense or oil in the ritual to which the client is allergic, it’s going to negate the ritual.

Then, I take some time meditating/visualizing the result for which the client hopes, and work from there. Obviously, it’s an intent that harms none and doesn’t interfere with free will, or I wouldn’t agree to do it.

I start with the basic structure: Casting the circle, calling in the directions, the actual work of the ritual, thanks, and closing. Then, I fill it in, according to the specific purpose of the ritual and affinities of the client. Usually, it percolates for a few days, and then suddenly, it’s as though a veil lifted and it becomes very clear. I rush to write it down while it’s still clear, and then put it away and edit it over a few days, much the way I do with any piece of writing. You want it to be succinct and focused. It needs to be something in which the client can participate (because you’re not there to perform For the client, you’ are working WITH the client) without feeling lost and without needing weeks of preparation.

Also, once the ritual is written, go over it and make a list of what each participant needs to bring, and what the client should have on hand (cups, dishes, etc. to hold things) so that you’re not scrambling at the last minute. Try to get the list to everyone four or five days before the ritual, and run through the checklist when you set up the space, and before you cast the circle.

Sometimes, looking at a full calendar can cause anxiety, but once you start to sit down and work on specifics, you feel the internal shift, and you feel it when you’re on the right track.

Return to the Journey

October 19, 2009
Moon Phase: Waxing
Retrogrades: Neptune and Uranus
Weather: Moving into winter with barely an autumn

I’ve been away from this blog for nearly two years. Sometimes, internal work is so confusing that you can’t discuss it outside a personal journal. Sometimes exterior forces push you and test the limits of your strength, and there’s not enough strength to talk about it with others.

All of these things have contributed to my time away.

And then yesterday, I was blindsided by some news that just proved what my gut told me about the other party, but which sets me back because I cut too much slack and hoped the other side would have the ethics to “do the right thing.” Lesson learned, yet one must be careful not to punish anyone else for a different individual’s choices — always hard. In the long run, it will prove to be the best possible outcome, but the transition will not be pleasant.

On the plus side, I am writing full time. Making my living with my pen, a scribe of sorts. Of many sorts, actually, because I cover a wide range of topics under a wide range of names. I have a daily (and often nightly) yoga practice, and I’ve found a wonderful weekly meditation group.

I enjoy my 2010 calendars from Llewellyn — I am not scheduled in any of the 2011 annuals. After 15 years of writing for their annuals, I feel I need to restock the creative wells. I’ve learned a lot and grown a lot in 15 years, but sometimes, one just needs to be quiet for awhile, as I was quiet here.

I continue to work with the Tarot and let it teach me, and I’m spending the next several months going deeper into the Runes, which should be an interesting journey. My European heritage is tied to Runic cultures, so it’s time I paid attention to the ancestors.

This is also the busy time of year for me, with Samhain approaching, not just for myself, but creating and performing rituals for house blessings, ancestors, the coming year, and, of course, a plethora of tarot readings.

Interestingly enough, the last post was about baking bread. And, yesterday, I baked bread. Well, Hestia is one of my patrons!

Not a circle in this case, but a spiral.

I look forward to picking up the journey here. I hope we can take it together and learn from each other.

Cerridwen Iris Shea

Sacred Baking

We’ve moved into the dark half of the year, now. The nights are long and cold, the days short and brittle. The harvest happened months ago, and we live off it.

One of the most comforting things to do during the cold days and nights is to bake. The smell of bread, cookies, or cakes scents a home and makes it feel warm and cozy like few other things. That’s why companies even peddle candles that claim to smell like “Christmas cookies”!

Why not add an extra layer to your baking, and bake with sacred intent? The more intent you put into the food, the more nourishing it is when you eat it. If you bake cookies and cakes to give as gifts during the season, bless the ingredients and the batter, as you stir, with intentions of love, health, and abundance for the coming cycle. Visualize the foods you bake filled with loving nurturance.

Bless each ingredient before adding it. While I often bless the ingredients as soon as I buy them, before storing them in the cupboard, re-igniting the blessing as it’s added to the mix never hurts.

Stir clockwise (in the Northern Hemisphere) to grow abundance and nurturance. Count your strokes, using multiples of 9 or 13. Add a blessing before placing the dough into the oven.

You’ll experience the well-being in your entire home as you prepare the food, and those receiving it will experience the blessings upon eating it.

What better way to spread peace and joy over the holidays?

–Cerridwen Iris Shea

Herbal Studies

 

I didn’t progress very far in my studies over the past week and change.  I stared at the stack of books.  I wondered what to do next.

 

It seems to be, as I previously mentioned, that I need to add some botany texts to my books.  I’m in the process of researching those texts to find something that will work well in tandem with the books I use.

 

I also decided that yes, I do need to keep a separate notebook with dangerous herbs and their antidotes.

 

Which means as I research and learn, I must take the tangent of antidotes.

 

What’s interesting is how the process is not a linear study, the way it would be if it was a university course.  It spirals, grows, and moves like the living plants I study.

 

I find that as interesting as the information on the individual plants.

 

Moon:  3^rd quarter in Libra

Retrograde:  Saturn

Tarot Q & A

Once a month-ish (heavy on the “ish”), I’ll answer questions people have about the tarot. They do need to be legitimate, respectful questions, but one doesn’t need a deep-seated knowledge of tarot to ask them. Ask a question you’re genuinely interested in having answered, and send the questions here.

I won’t reveal the identity of the questioner; don’t worry.

Question: I had a tarot reading, and the reader told me I had a big black spirit hovering around me. She suggested that I pay her $20 a candle to light candles for me every day for three months, and she’d need to use six candles at a time. If I didn’t do so, something terrible would happen to me. What do I do?

Answer: The short answer is to file a police report. This person is not a legitimate tarot consultant; this person is a charlatan out to get as much money as possible from you. Many tarot readers charge a reasonable fee for the time, space, and energy it takes for a reading. If they try to extort money beyond the reading, especially with threats, check the fortune-telling laws in your area and contact the fraud squad of the police department.

If a legitimate reader intuits trouble or danger or even an actual negative spirit hovering around you, the reader can give YOU advice on the steps YOU need to take to change the energy around you. Sometimes, it means performing a simple ritual. Sometimes it means seeking the help of a psychological, medical, or law enforcement professional, depending upon your situation. But tarot is about showing you OPTIONS in your life, giving you the information you need to make an educated choice, not tying you to the reader for a series of rituals for which you’re charged large fees. There are plenty who do so; avoid them.

Many readers will disagree, but I will only read the same person once every six months. A good reading takes anywhere from two weeks to six months to manifest. You need to give the possibilities time to take root. People can get addicted to readings the same way they can get addicted to smoking, exercise, or self-help gurus. I think it’s counter-productive to get readings too frequently.

Question: I had a reading eight months ago, and the reader told me I’d meet my soul mate in six months. Why hasn’t it happened? Did I just pick a sucky reader?

Answer: What steps did you take to manifest that reading in the six months after it? Tarot is about showing you the options that your subconscious already knows exit, and bringing them to the surface so that you CAN TAKE ACTION. The actions you take from the moment of the reading can manifest the possibilities or the actions can change the possibilities. It is your CHOICE. If you do nothing, the options may float right past and you don’t even notice. For instance, if you did nothing but sit home and wait for your soul mate to ring the bell, your soul mate could have been in the neighborhood, but, because you did NOTHING to manifest the meeting, you were merely ships that passed in the night.

While there’s always the possibility that you weren’t with the right reader from you, it’s more likely that the possibility didn’t manifest because you did nothing to make it happen. The cards show possibilities, not definites.

Question: I had this reading, right? And what the tarot reader told me had, like, nothing to do with what I asked. What up with that?

Answer: Just because you ask a question doesn’t mean that’s what you most need to know. The tarot will give you the most important information, which isn’t always the same as the information you feel is the most important in the moment. Look back on your notes from the reading (you took notes, didn’t you? Or recorded the session? Often there’s too much information to simply remember). What resonates with you, relative to a different situation?

The other way answers grow incomprehensible is if the question is muddled. Did you ask a clear, concise question to which you genuinely wanted the answer? Or did you ask one thing while really wanting to know something else? Sometimes querents are embarrassed to ask what they really want to; their mouths form the question they think they SHOULD ask, while their hearts ask something else, and it gets muddled.

When asking a question, use simple, direct sentences. No complex or compound sentences. No “and”, “but”, “however” or any qualitative phrasing. If the question gets long and complicated, break it down into separate questions.

That’s all for this time. Again, if you’ve got questions, send them here, and I’ll answer some more next month!

Cerridwen Iris Shea

For more information on tarot, meditation, and home and hearth magic, visit my website, Cerridwen’s Cottage.

Imbolc

Tomorrow is the celebration of Imbolc, also known as Candlemass. It’s the time when things begin to stir beneath the surface, the seeds start to get restless, although they’re not ready to push through the ground yet.

It’s natural to start feeling as though you’ve been static and turned inward enough, and you want to do . . .something . . .but you aren’t quite sure yet what it is.

Imbolc is sacred to Bridget, the goddess of poetry, healing, smithcraft, and fire. Rituals done on Imbolc are for things that are going to stick during the next cycle. It’s not for short-term, quick results. It’s for long-term life changes.

Plant seeds tomorrow, signifying specific changes you want to grow in your life. As the plants emerge, nurture them the way you nurture the positive changes you make in your life. Let the plants symbolize the change, so something tangible represents what is still intangible.

Moon Phase: Almost Full in Cancer
Retrogrades: Saturn

Note: Tomorrow is the last day to send tarot questions for this month. I will answer several of them on Monday. Please send your questions here.

Working with The Celtic Oracle

The past week’s Oracle work was slow – these cards needed more time to connect, especially since I was overtired, stressed out, and in flux. Oracle work under exhaustion or stress isn’t the best way to learn a new deck. However, once you’re fluent in the language of your particular deck, you will be able to discern what information coming through is genuine and what is simply a product of your stress. After all, we tend to turn to oracles for advice when we’re under pressure.

I worked with The Keeper of Letters, The First Circle, the Second Circle, The Third Circle, and The Mound of Wonders (the latter moving into the element cards).

Being a writer, The Keeper of Letters was the card to which I connected the most strongly. It also reminds me, in addition to the other skills I’m studying these months, that I need to add Ogham back into it. I’ve done a little work with the Ogham, but not nearly enough to be fluent in it, and that’s what I need.

However, there are limited hours in the day, so I need to pick and chose a few things to study in depth, and in turn, or I won’t retain any of it.

If you have tarot questions, please send them here by Friday, and I’ll answer some of them next week.

On Thursday, I hope you will join me to celebrate Imbolc.

Kiuney!

Herbal Studies

Adventures in Herbal Studies

I piled my various texts on herbs, and also the relevant encyclopedias, and dug in.

I quickly realized that I’ll have to add botany texts to the study pile – I need to know what these plants look like, and the line drawings from 1636 just aren’t cutting it for me.

In any case, since Culpepper’s herbal is still around after all these years, I decided to start with the first herb in his repertoire and work my way through.

It’s going to take a few years.

The first herb is Amara Dulcis.

This herb is also known as mortal, bittersweet, woody nightshade, felonwort. There’s an American Bittersweet, also known as wax work and false bittersweet, and a European Bittersweet that goes by the names above as well as violet bloom, scarlet berry, dulcamara, and bitter nightshade, and, according to Gerard (another ancient herbalist), Amarodulcis and Amarodulciia. He adds that Pliny called it Melortrum: Theophrastus and vitus sylvestris, but disagrees, saying the latter is what he considers “Ladies’ Seale” and not a member of the Nightshade family.

It’s masculine, under the astrological sign of Mercury and the element of Air.

Culpepper goes on and on about its curative, restorative, and magical powers. Scott Cunningham agrees with some of that, but points out that American bittersweet is poisonous. The Encyclopedia Britannica and Audobon’s Nature Encyclopedia agree.

Culpepper is eager to use it for preventing witchcraft, while Cunningham suggests putting some under the pillow to forget a past love.

According to the encyclopedia articles, there are 1400-3000 species in the Nightshade family (depending on which encyclopedia you read).

Here I thought I was starting in the “A’s” and I’m in Nightshade. Go figure.

What I didn’t know was that potato, tomato, eggplant, cayenne pepper, tobacco, and belladonna are all members of the Nightshade family.

My overall feeling and my personal decision for working with “Amara Dulcis” is:
Good for birds
Bad for people, horses, cows, sheep, etc, despite Culpepper’s recommendations
Maybe I’d rub it on a bruise, but I sure as heck wouldn’t ingest it!

And I’m realizing that part of learning about these herbs isn’t just ingesting information (pun intended), but figuring out where they fit into my overall work and life.

I’m tempted to keep a separate book of poisons and antidotes, but in this day and age of paranoia, it might be misconstrued as something nefarious when it’s true purpose is so I don’t have any poisonous plants where my animals can get at them.

Sources:

Audobon’s Nature Encyclopedia. Entry for “nightshade”.

Culpepper’s Complete Herbal by Nicholas Culpepper. NJ: Chartwell Books. 1985. H. (originally published in 1653).

Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham. Minnesota: Llwellyn Publications. Second Edition: 2001. P.

Encyclopedia Britannica. Entries for both “bittersweet” and “nightshade”.

Gerard’s Herbal: John Gerard’s Historie of Plants edited by Maras Woodward. Middlesex, UK: Senate. 1998. P. (originally published in 1636).